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Into The Storm.

by Jacob Hutto

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1.
Childhood. 05:46
I wanna wake the sun, Give a bashing hug to everyone I love. I wanna stroll the sea, Give her empathy, Exotic products please. But whatever I do, I wanna learn from you. A collective sigh, While I played with my own stuffed-up buffalo. A kennel in the back, Sweetly chosen as my parents had just laughed. A collective sigh, I remembered it would be my last ride. "Will we make it home?" I remember as the storm took the coast. "Hope so." She said I hope so. But whatever I do, I hope to learn from you.
2.
This room is doomed. No longer my sweet sanctuary. And my past efforts are a laugh, My face hits the cement. If I laugh, Then nature will lament. If I laugh, I'll never sleep again. Wipe your tears away, And promise me warmth. Of the mess that I've made, Impasse and form. Of the glory we made, Promise me still, 'Cause I have to digest with reluctance to further will. Well I shout into the storm, Well I pounce startled in the fauna you adore. If I laugh, I never will ascend. If I laugh, Your eyes say I have sin. And this is why I swallow my pride. Take a breath for each day, And a capsule to delight. Geneva procured that we are of worth, But I feel my heels dragged and damaged right into the dirt. So wipe your tears away, And promise me warmth, And lead me a path that can draw me into the storm.
3.
Jouska. 05:52
Hand and hand, We were meant to mend. Give me grace, And light ascend. Oh, dearly we depart, My face is in the scars for once. Well it all flowed so naturally. Well don't you see? In a different conversation, Arms length at the table, Side-by is stride for, Everything's to glide for once. Well it all flowed so naturally. Well don't you see? Well please excuse me, I'm not sorry for all that I've said and done. I'm quite mistaken, My life is taking tolls, And it is not so fun. You used to know me now, But differently, And things are not so well, But it's oh well. In a different conversation, Arms length, And I'm fabled, By your scented cigarette, I wish I could regret you. Well it all flowed so naturally. Well don't you see? In a different conversation, Arms length at the table, Well I'm rest assured, I think there is a cure for us. Well it all flowed so naturally. Well don't you see? Well please excuse me, I'm not sorry for all that I've said and done. I'm quite mistaken, My life is taking tolls, And it is not so fun. You used to know me now, But differently, And things are not so well, But it's oh well. Well please excuse me, I'm not sorry for all that I've said and done. I've got no strength, My life is taking tolls, And it is not so fun. You used to know me then, But differently, And things are not so well, But it's oh well.
4.
Patron. 06:15
Sick to my stomach, Breezy and contained. Well I loved you more with your fresh cigarette, In a toxin flame, Oh, what a shame. Are you a patron? A saint to keep me safe, A saint to keep me sane. Are you indifferent? 'Cause things won't go my way. But the novocaine, Tells me differently, That things will be okay. X in the dosage, Ease up on the brain, My thoughts are just inane. This my last summer, A bummer I abhor. Your desperate decor is something I wished I lived for. Your emotional warmth, Bubbling and forming discourse. Whisking and warned, I'm a mess to my friends, But I'm the best to them. Well I've got the ropes, Hit the porch floor as it shackles my name. Well you don't wanna talk, It is all my fault, I am just so ashamed. Well I've got to go, Here's my goodbye note. Sincerely, My Name.
5.
Well I walk through Rose Saint Avenue, And I talked at the cars steamed in blue, Dreaming how much I could kiss you. And the glass stained in red lipstick, And your past marked in dark ad-libs, Is it nice to know that it's your fate? Well I know, That you're just so angry, Hoping that he will take his time. And I know, That you're just so anguished, Hoping that things will turn out fine. Well his excess, And your submissions, Is his password to put himself at ease. But to yourself, Is there just a bit worth? Scorch the ground, But bless your own earth. Well I know that this old ballpark is so empty. Well there is enough in this room for you and me. Well I know, That you're just so angry, Hoping that he will take his time. And I know, That you're just so anguished, Hoping that things will turn out fine. Hoping that things will turn out fine.
6.
Out in the open, Feel white wool covering my skin. Give me a mark, Or give me a remark, Or something to touch my skin. 'Cause I don't wanna hear it. But it's you, I wish I knew, Tell me what to do. Out in the open, What a joy she can be to me. But she is not a toy, No she is not a toy, To play your insipid games. And I don't wanna hear it. But it's you, I wish I knew, Tell me what to do. Out in the open, I'm a blanket, Cocooned and inner soft. Well there's a gun on the table, A fable, a fable. You scream at me to not do it. But I don't wanna hear it. But it's you, I wish I knew, Tell me what to do.
7.
Sick to my stomach, Yes I'm just so sick of you too. Yeah, I'm a bummer, A piece of dumb scum, It is true. Oh bloody veins stay the same and the few. Drunken behavior is savored under the ramshackled moon. And the flight will resume, With or without you. Theia, Be blithe as I take the plight to feel resolute. Mumbling digits, And bumbling idiots, I hit my own head. Oh, Cut the limbs, Burn the bridge, Start anew. No, I won't forgive what you had dragged me through. If I do leave, I guess I'll just go grieve one phone call: Three words, eight letters, and I'm gone. Oh, But the blade will retain its good use. Listen, I'm quite depraved and mundane in tedium's bloom. Oh, Lace the water, My father, He's calling me. Here is the ticket, Lock the door please. And the flight will resume, With or without you. If I do leave, I guess I'll just go grieve one phone call: Three words, eight letters, and I'm gone. This is my masterpiece.
8.
Now. 08:31
Here I am, Eighteen years old, Sold my soul, So I could feel loved. "But I don't feel loved." If I could jump off this roof, I could handle, Jump off these bridges, I feel the mantle could uncurl, A whirlwind to unfurl. X in the dosage, The meds I can handle. Ropes in the bed, He says it's a plan, And he wants more. Get a turn to score. Woke in the bed, From a friend not too far. Familiar faces are a scar, And blurred and blind. "Why can't he be kind?" Veered on the highway, No new, No direction, Sneered at the man with the plan, Said it'd be fine. "Why'd he have to lie?" Now I'm alone, And cold in the room. The rearview mirror's here, But isn't clear to me. Speak in a home, It just feels like a wall. No catharsis at all, It's just a stall. Dear God, Keep me alive. Toe to toe with him.

credits

released June 7, 2017

Into The Storm. was equivocal to writing a goodbye note. Every mark, regret, detail, meant to be both an abstraction, yet realistic snapshot of suffering through depression. Parallels and intersections between personal vitriol and fiction are blurred, bloodied, self-destructed. Where all is reminisced and rejected. When the medication doesn't help. When all hope is lost. When apologies become necessary, it's time to say I'm sorry.

Thank you to all who have loved and supported me through the years.

Recorded & Produced between June 2016 to May 2017.

All Production, Recording: Jacob Hutto
Backup Vocals (Track 4): Jules Lummus, Alexis Brady, Mackenzie Bingham, Roxanne Granat, Christina Stoner
Tape Samples (Track 5): Bersain Beristain (Even Oxen)
Voicemails: Mie-Mie (Track 1), Paw-Paw (Track 3, 7)

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Jacob Hutto Spring, Texas

Jacob Hutto is a Houston-based Singer-Songwriter, with experimental tendencies.

Most of Jacob's music can be found on iTunes, Spotify, Youtube, etc.

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